September 4 - Sarah Palin caught referring to black people as "moors."
September 8 - Bloggers discover Sarah Palin wrote and failed to sell a mystery novel in 2002 about a former beauty pageant runner-up who becomes VP, only to murder the elderly President and take full control of the country. It's titled, Something I Definitely Promise to Do When I Get a Chance.
September 12 - Sarah Palin farts, tells the media Bristol did it.
September 19 - While giving news cameras a tour of her Alaska home, Sarah Palin accidentally opens the wrong closet, causing dozens of skeletons to fall out.
October 2 - During a debate with Joe Biden, Sarah Palin stabs Joe Biden.
October 5 - Sarah Palin tells reporters the only way she can orgasm is if she crushes a mouse with her foot. She says it like it's no big deal.
October 12 - Sarah Palin reveals she's one month pregnant with her sixth child.
October 30 - Sarah Palin tells the media she's given birth to a beautiful baby boy!
November 2 - The Palin children escape, begging for safe passage to sanity. Their adventures are immortalized in a series of young adult novels.
November 4 - After losing the election, Sarah Palin tells the media she won't cry because Christian tears are what Jews dip their celery into on Passover.
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January: +4.45 units, February: +.39 units, March +3 units, April +1.29 units, May +2.08 units, June +15.02 units, July +.4 units, August +.54 units, September +4.63 units, October +3.25 units, November +1.80 units (15 winning months in a row)
Linear Mode
